OBummer

Reuters have confirmed that Gay Marriage is now the biggest world news story, and indeed the biggest issue facing mankind.

This has relegated topics such as European economic and social meltdown, mass state sponsored homicides in Syria, constant car bombs and other IEDs killing our misplaced troops in Iraq and Afganistan, famine in Africa etc etc into the minor placings. Quite right too. The legitimacy or otherwise of Brian and Nigel's forthcoming nuptials is where it's at right now. Bugger everything else.

Even facebook sensation Joseph Kone is being described as "rather last century" by the newserati.

Well, there you have it. Pretty much every world leader of any standing has ditched their more critical agenda items to focus on this, the real topic of the day. Obama has more or less guaranteed himself a second term by openly surporting it; David Cameron tells us he has been a fan of the idea since his schooldays. If only Sarkozy had realised this was what the voters of France wanted to hear - he'd be settling back into power right now.

Only Mitt Romney seems to stand alone - apparently he has a long record of queer bashing - but he has excused himself by claiming he thought they were only weak, helpless boys who needed to man up, rather than homosexuals. Good answer Mitt, no-one minds a smaller-boy-basher. Anyway, he too, it seems, is not prejudiced.

And thank god for that - the last thing we need is the hitherto unblemished record of White House occupants besmirched by some form of gross moral turpitude.

And there is of course the case of good old Robert Mugabe, who is on record as saying all gays should be shot, but what would he know - he's as nutty as a fruitcake. Stick to being a nasty dictator, Bob, and leave the important global stuff to the real leaders.

Angela Merkel has been curiously quiet on the subject, but as a recent survey found that 91% of Germans believe she is a man in drag, she probably has her own agenda on the subject. Or perhaps she thinks all marriages should be abandonded as some sort of austerity measure.

So where will this story go? If it follows the same path as the canabis "legitimise by inches" approach, we can expect to see tax breaks for gay marriages, a much higher profile for the Gay Olympics, and ultimately the legalisation of what that quaintly old fashioned and out of touch work of fiction The Bible amusingly refers to as Original Sin.

It's no use the doubters quoting the fall of the Roman Empire as a dangerous historical precent for the open legitimisation of homosexuality, that was 2000 years ago, they didn't even have the internet then, and as Henry Ford said, "History is bunk".

An intriguing aspect of this is that, at least openly anyway, none of these world leaders are themselves gay, although it is worth recalling that Cameron spent 5 years at Eton. And as far as this column can ascertain, none of them campaigned on a support gay marriage ticket.

The cynics, of course, would point to vote winning, to distraction from the real issues, to pandering to a vocal minority. How cynical of them.

So, we can all sleep safe tonight. No need to worry about rising prices, the collapse of the euro, whether we can pay our mortgages or not, or what the future will bring.

Our leaders have their fingers on the pulse, and we can trust in them to get it right. Goodoh.

Le Pen may be mightier

Since time immemorial, the populace have had, to a degree, immutable faith in government to achieve the right solution. Humanity is one long game of follow my leader, and as long as that leader says something that sounds good, then the people who listen will vote for them, and trust them. How else did Hitler come to power - or Stalin, for that matter. The recent showing of Marine Le Pen in the French elections is a good illustration of this. For many French people, she is talking sense. Her opponents, horrified to the core, insist on branding her a Nazi. In fact, she is politically a shadow of her father, a true extremist. Ms le Pen is merely echoing the sentiments of a growing proportion of her population, and indeed the populants of many European countries. It speaks volumes of the censored society in which we now live that anyone who dares stray somewhere near the extremes polarly occupied by so many leftists is branded a product of National Socialism and therefore to be despised by all. It is in fact an admission by the proponents of enforced multiculturalism and political correctness that theirs is neither the right way, nor one which has any real traction with human who's IQ exceeds that of a dustbin. That's not to say the right are right. Anyone whose intellectual capacity exceeds that of a cupcake will agree that is is highly unlikely that either side has a monopoly on the right answers. In fact, the growth of extremes is a product of the party system. If you are aligned with a faction, you must espouse all of the causes and beliefs which they represent. Failure to do so may result in relegation to the back benches, or worse, expulsion. Most politicians enter politics with an ideal - to serve, and serve well. That ideal is eroded as the waves of party manipulation crash remorselessly against it, and quickly morphs into a sense of self preservation. Thus the party system has become a despicable anachronism, and its resultant flaws render talented and ambitious politicians impotent. So begins another erosion - the erosion of trust that the government will prevail, that their solutions will work. And as a result, the people open their ears and listen, most often to single issue politics. Hence the rise of Le Pen, and in the UK of UKIP. Their ability to manage the day to day business of government is overlooked. Their most vocal standpoints achieve support, because in difficult times humans retreat into those issues which frighten them the most. A stable economy, where standards of living grow well is unlikely to produce support for anything other than the status quo or its mildest opponents. But this is something we neither have nor, despite the increasingly hollow protests of our leaders, expect to have in the foreseeable future. And so we retreat to the poles. What compounds this sorry state of affairs is the blind denials of those who have lead us down this path - our leaders. They just can't see that their weakness is the cause. They refuse to face facts. But of course they are only mere mortals. And we were fools to trust them in the first place.